Sometimes, I think that I am kicking ass at this whole parenting thing. My kids are really good kids. (And by good, I am not necessarily referring to their behavior, because sometimes my kids suck, but their character.) And then, my kids go and ruin my ass-kicking awesomeness by saying something so totally wrong that I just want to beat my head on the wall and weep.
Like the time that Dubya confused Elvis with Albus Dumbledore.
Like the time that Dubya had to ask if he lived or died.
Like the time I found the flag of Nazi Germany in Dubya’s backpack.
Like a few weeks ago, I was driving Moo home from daycare and the song Uptown Girls by Billy Joel came on. She asked, “Is this the Beastie Boys?” (And just in case, my blog ever makes it big, I feel as if I should go ahead and apologize to Mike D, MCA, and Ad-Rock. I’m sorry, fellas. We’re gonna work on that. Oh, and just in case Billy Joel ever reads my blog, I feel as if we should thank Moo for mistaking him for the Beastie Boys. She says. “You’re welcome”.)
But you guys, last night was the WORST. EVER. FAIL.
While Hollywood Boyfriend Jeremy Renner took Dubya to soccer, I took Moo to the library for the Monster Mash celebration. After hearing some spooky stories, making a monster face with facial hair, we decided to check out a few books. I found a chemistry book and a Legend of Zelda graphic novel for Dubya. Moo picked out a book about a fairy and another about the ballerinas in Swan Lake. I picked out the book and c.d. of In A Dark, Dark Room. (My kids are obsessed with the line ‘Jenny’s head. fell. off.’) I also grabbed a copy of The Giving Tree by Shel Silverstein.
I showed the book to Dubya and told him I thought we would read that tonight instead of a chapter from Alice in Wonderland. And he says, “A book about Osama Bin Laden? Okay, cool.”
My. Jaw. Dropped. “What are you talking about Dubya? This is The Giving Tree.”
He showed me the picture on the back:
Okay, so maybe I can kind of see where he was coming from. But STILL. I felt like roaring a terrible roar and gnashing my terrible teeth. (quick! figure out that reference)
So wrong, Dubs, so so wrong.